The Domestic Un-goddess

That little punk!

2011-01-11T22:50:00.003-05:00

Johanna's latest trick is talking. She's been babbling for quite some time, starting with the typical "dadadadada" thing that makes all daddies feel pretty awesome. She started being intentional about associating it with Jon about a month ago, I guess. She does the sign for "father", too, so I know it's an actual word. She knows the signs for "dog", "fish", "bye-bye" and "nurse". She says dog (gog), Dad (usually in a shriek: "DAD!"), Katie (Kay-kay), Bubba (which is what we refer to Micah as) and occasionally Grandad thrown in for fun. But I cannot get that little punk to say "Mama" for love or money. She'll look intently at my mouth while I say it, and then I usally get, "DAD!" or sometimes "Blablabla"...do you think she's trying to tell me something?
So in other news, I'm a big failure as a blogger. Mostly because anything I want to say can be said in 140 words or less on Facebook. But we've been keeping on keeping on here. We started our new year of school at the end of August, have had some fun field trips, enjoyed our holidays. We've seen a little bit of snow here in NC in December and I'm sure the kids hope to see some more soon. I've been working a little bit but business has been very slow...the restaurant economy, in any case, has not rebounded, no matter what they're saying on the news.

My smiley baby

2010-04-25T20:55:00.002-04:00

Johanna is doing so well; starting to sleep a little more at night and starting to fuss a little less. :)
Her smile is so cute, and she's starting to coo, which is adorable. Right now her big(gest) sister is holding her so I can do dishes and check e-mail and whatnot. Here's her pretty smile:

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"If You Want Me To"...and other thoughts on worship

2010-03-30T00:49:00.003-04:00

As most all of you know, I spent the last 9 days in the ICU dealing with a weird strain of pneumonia, compounded (or possibly caused) by a uterine infection. I'm reeling, physically and emotionally from the whole experience. Leaving my newborn baby to get flown in a helicopter to the next state was definitely among the top-two suckiest experiences of my life. The first three days, they were just trying to figure it out. I was attended to by no less than 15 doctors (from four different departments), and a veritable army of nurses and aides. It was hard during the day, but the coughing got so much worse at night. I was on oxygen, but there was literally nothing they could do to stop the coughs (until they finally cleared up the infection). At night, when I was alone, and couldn't hold onto a breath, was running a 103 fever, and trying REALLY hard not to cry because it made the coughing so much worse, I was scared. Really scared.
The night before they ended up intubating me I remembered that Jon had said Gwenn left her iPod-iTouch-iWhatever-it-is for us to listen to. I had a really hard time navigating that little thing, for some reason. I couldn't get it to just "PLAY" and then "GO ON TO THE NEXT SONG"...it would keep repeating one song. So in the middle of the night, since I couldn't sleep anyway, I was scrolling through the different artists, and God just broke right through my misery and taught me about worshipping. For real. I was so breathless, I couldn't talk. So obviously, I REALLY couldn't sing. And, since you, dear friends, know me so well, you know those are pretty much my top two favorite activities. :) But as song after song just popped out of the list, all I could do as gasp along with the words that I truly felt that God was giving just to me. First came the older song (from the mid-90s) "God is In Control" by Twila Paris. I knew the song well, but hadn't heard it in years. The title was something that my sweet husband kept saying to me all week. One of the lyrics says, "This is no time for fear; this is a time for faith and determination". Next song I drift to is "Abba" by Rebecca St. James (again, hadn't heard it in years). The lyric there promised
"I'm feeling like the eagle that rises
Flies above the earth and its troubles
Oh yes he knows that there are valleys below
But under his wings there's a stronger power"
A new (to me) song by Chris Tomlin "Jesus Messiah" resonated (about three times in a row!) through my spirit. I was starting to breathe a little easier. Then came the song "Jesus, You're Beautiful" by Sara Groves. I remembered signing this song with my dear Selah sisters a few years ago. When I didn't have the air to gasp to sing anymore, I was signing the words in the dark.
"Glorious" by Martha Munizzi (from the move "The Gospel"). I remembered my Gwennie putting that song on my ipod playlist and telling me it was a great kick-butt running song.
Just before I finally fell asleep that night, I shut off the music and was just laying there thinking about what God can and will teach me under difficult circumstances. And then He reminded me of a song I had found "for" my friend Candy a few years ago, on the anniversary of her baby son's death. I hadn't heard this song before, and I honestly don't think I've heard it since. But I learned it and recorded it and gave it to her and Jim with some other music I thought they'd find meaningful. It spoke so straight to my heart (again).

"If You Want Me To"

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to

So where am I going with all this? Unsurprisingly, I'm not sure. :) I'm still processing. But I have learned two truths through all this. One: my husband loves me so much. His care for me when I needed him is something I will spend the rest of my life being thankful for. If that's ALL I learned through this, I truly think it would be worth it. But second, and bigger, my God made my every cell, and he made that man for me :) My God loves me with an everlasting love that is big, and strong, and powerful, even when I am small, and weak, and powerless.

Less than 72 hours to go...

2010-03-09T15:20:00.001-05:00

...and the challenge today is "do I have enough energy to shower today? Or shall I skip it until tomorrow? And, if I'm in there anyway, should I try to shave my legs? Is this an exercise (*snort* as if I exercise) in futility?"
The answers to come. I'm thinking they might be, in order: yes, no, maybe, probably.

How to pick things up off the floor, 9-months-pregnant version

2010-03-03T10:09:00.004-05:00

To quote Emily Saliers (Indigo Girls): "You have to laugh at yourself, or you'd cry your eyes out."

Really neat article about my Grandpa Joe

2010-02-26T11:10:00.001-05:00

Grandpa Joe was my mom's father. He died a few years ago, and as he lived in Texas for my whole life, I didn't know him as well as I knew her step-dad or my dad's dad. He did, however, have a very interesting life and career. I read this article right around the time he passed away, and my mom re-posted it on Facebook last night in response to a picture an old friend had posted. Anyway, maybe it's only interesting to me, but here it is!
Article about Pop

Twenty-three days...

2010-02-17T09:28:00.000-05:00

...until we meet this baby!
That is all.

My super-creative kid

2010-02-14T21:54:00.004-05:00

This is a book (OK, a pamphlet) that Katie wrote about "How to make good Valentines". This was not a school assignment, just something she thought needed writing!
Enjoy. I did. :)

Why my nephew Nico is my favorite

2010-02-13T19:55:00.003-05:00

Well, not favorite. But seriously, I love this little guy.
1. He always, ALWAYS wants to touch my belly. He loves feeling the baby move around, and is genuinely interested in what is going on in there. I know that's not that unusual for a five-year-old, so here are a few more reasons...
2. Yesterday, he told me he had to go to the bathroom. This was right after lunch, and I was cleaning up, so I confess I forgot about him for about 10-15 minutes. Then I thought, "Crap, I wonder if he's sitting there waiting for me to help him wipe?" Nope. He had used the last of the toilet paper and was attempting to put a fresh roll on the holder. Seriously. I'm not convinced that my 36-year-old husband knows how this works.
3. Last night, I was supervising teeth-brushing of all six kids. I had bought them a blue-tinted mouthwash called "Inspector Hector Plaque Detector" (a name which never fails to amuse my children). It's a pre-brushing rinse that supposedly sticks to problem spots, and then you brush until the blue is gone. This, by the way, is a messy endeavor. I did not allow Josiah to partake in it (and he didn't seem too miffed by this. I think he was a little afraid of the blue froth coming out of his siblings' and cousins' mouths), but the rest of them were spitting and drooling blue foam all over my bathroom, nearly all of it not in the sink. While they were brushing, I took a hand towel and wiped off the counters. Nico was the last to spit out his toothpaste and rinse. He then proceeded, unprompted, to cup water in his hands and rinse all the nasty toothpaste off the inside of the sink.
WHAT FIVE-YEAR-OLD DOES THIS!? Gwenn and Nick, either you or Nahomie are doing something right with this kid.

Another example of why I love YouTube

2010-02-12T09:47:00.003-05:00

Literal videos. This is when happens when someone's got WAAAYYY too much time on their hands. They use the tune of a real song, watch the video, and make up words to go along with what's ACTUALLY happening in the video. Which, if you think of it, makes a lot of sense, because a lot of music videos seem to have NOTHING in common with the song that's being sung. Anyway, there are several examples of this type of video (worth looking up: Meatloaf's "I Would Do Anything for Love (but I Won't Do That)"), but this one is my absolute favorite:
Bonnie Tyler "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Great article about what Gwenn is doing in Haiti

2010-02-10T19:34:00.001-05:00

http://www.oprah.com/world/Filling-in-the-Gaps-on-the-Ground-in-Haiti-Barton-Brooks/1

So proud of my family! They are truly putting feet to the Gospel.

My awesome friends

2010-02-08T10:20:00.002-05:00

My dear friends Candy and DeAnn threw me just a super baby shower on Saturday. It was girly and pink and awesome. Amanda graciously opened her beautiful home for us and Stephanie put together some really fun games. Just wanted to say thank you to all my great sister-friends who take such good care of us! I can't wait to share pictures of baby Johanna in some of her finery (I just love pink!)
Also, Shelley constructed seriously the cutest cake I've ever seen. If anyone local needs a special-occasion cake, please contact me for her number; she's just starting out in "the business" and does awesome work!

Josiah is just a mess

2010-02-08T08:35:00.002-05:00

He is HILARIOUS. And hilariously naughty. For the most part, everything I've had to deal with with him has been "typical two-year-old" stuff. But when he hits, or pinches, or head-butts one of the other kids, and has to be disciplined, he GRINS through the whole thing. Grins like a clown even if you swat him or put him in the corner.
Today, though, was just hysterical. He said (as he does multiple times a day) "Hey Hey Auntie Gretchen"\ (that's what he calls me...not just Auntie Gretchen, but Hey Hey Auntie Gretchen), I hungry." I told him we would have some cereal just as soon as the big kids were finished with our chores. He said, "I pray now." So he's been wandering around the house, saying grace. It goes like this:
God is great, God is good.
Auntie Gretchen give me food.
Amen.

Well, I always knew I was one

2010-02-04T13:14:00.002-05:00

A superstar, that is. At least, according to my son, I am. To me, the picture looks a little bit like the Wicked Witch of the West, but he asssures me that it is, indeed, a picture of me.

A bad news/good news post

2010-02-03T08:11:00.001-05:00

Bad news: I woke up this morning to TWO wet beds in my household.
Good news: Neither one was mine. Given the stage of pregnancy I'm in and baby Johanna's penchant for JUMPING on my bladder, this is no small victory. :)

My drama queen child...part one million five

2010-01-29T09:54:00.002-05:00

Disclaimer: (just in case you're a bit stand-offish about, um, body parts) My kids know all the correct terms for their anatomy, including the boy and girl parts. I've never seen a need or a compelling reason to call them "down there" or "peepee" or any other cutesy term. Disclaimer over.

Abbie has been feeling ill for two days now. The night before last, she was running a fever and complaining of a sore throat and a headache. I also had a sore throat and headache, and Katie started feeling badly yesterday. All the kids went to my mom's house for naptime/playtime yesterday, and when I arrived to pick them up, my mom was laughing and said, "Abbie has the strangest malady I've ever heard of." I said, "Oh, really? She's good for that." She said, "No, I've never heard of this one. She was complaining that her throat hurt, and then she said, 'Nanny, my throat hurts so bad it hurts all the way to my vagina!'"

Yeah. That's my kid. Good grief.

Breaking my blog silence for a kid funny

2010-01-16T10:27:00.003-05:00

I swear it's not on purpose that I don't blog. I just feel like I don't have that much interesting to say. Also, since just before New Year's, I haven't had my own computer (our desktop crashed and is HOPEFULLY being repaired, so I just have a pretty slow laptop - that I am very thankful for!)...I can't upload pictures or anything else. Also, the five people that read this blog are on my Facebook or I speak to on the phone daily. :)
Anyway, yesterday I was speaking to my sister Melody on the phone, and her 2-year-old daughter Evie was being kind of whiney in the background. I knew it was almost time for her nap, and I asked to speak to her. At first she said she didn't want to talk to me, but then she decided to. As Melody handed her the phone, she (Melody) switched it to speakerphone. Here's the general gist of the conversation:
Me: Evie, are you being a crankypants today?
Evie: NO!
Me: Are you sure? You sound a little grumpy today. Do you feel grumpy?
Evie: Yeah. Grumpy.
Me: I feel a little grumpy today, too. Do you need a nap?
Evie: Yeah.
Me: How about we make a deal? Do you know what a deal is?
Evie: Yes.
Me: OK. So you go "check your eyelids for leaks" (that's what my dad says), and I'll go take a nap too, OK?
Evie: OKAY!
She hands the phone back to her mom and says excitedly, "Ma! Auntie Gretchen says when I wake up my cousins will be here!"

Scones...a pregnancy craving adventure in cooking

2009-11-23T17:23:00.007-05:00

Does that even make any sense? Well, cravings rarely do. I haven't had too many this time around, and they're usually short-lived. Which is sometimes good and sometimes bad. Like, if I crave Doritos, I'm like an ADD kid: "OOOH, I need some Doritos! I need some really BAD! Jon, please go to Red Apple and get me some Dorit....ooh, shiny! I could make a craft out of that!...." etc., etc. That would be a GOOD short-lived craving. A BAD short-lived craving would be the time that I ordered $25 worth of Chinese food (including a tip) for delivery, and by the time it got here less than an hour later I TOTALLY didn't want it. Blech. Gross. Get it away from me. (And for those of you Chinese-food conisseurs in Manteo - Neil, namely - it was from Top China, which is inferior to China King in so many ways.)
Anyway, the longest-lasting craving so far (at nearly a week) was for cranberry-lemon scones. Seriously? Who even craves this stuff? Where does my mind come up with it? But I had to have them, and after having the cranberries and the lemons in my fridge for about 4 days, I finally made them this morning. I figured this crap ought to be documented, so here ya go:

Must...have....coffee.....to start.

Does that look like "coarse crumbs" to you? Works for me.

No buttermilk? (Who ever does?) My mama taught me
to sour milk with a tablespoon or so of vinegar or lemon juice before
you start. Works like a charm.)

I love Pampered Chef. This tool (which was cheap, as far as
PC stuff goes) is a lemon zester/scorer.

Another Pampered Chef favorite; this one gets
nearly daily use: my food chopper makes short work
of the fresh cranberries.

Leftover cranberries; must find a use for
them! The garlic salt has nothing to do with this
recipe, don't worry! :) It just lives on my counter
because it, too, sees nearly daily use.

Add the good stuff.

First taste of fresh cranberries :)

Very sticky.

And messy.
Ready to go in the oven.

Yes, oven is filthy.

Finished product! Yum. Craving satisfied.
Even my picky-butt son liked them.

The End.

A healthy baby...good report!

2009-11-17T07:50:00.003-05:00

After we had our ultrasound last month, my doctor sent me for a fetal echocardiogram up in Norfolk. NOT because he thought there was a problem, but because, since I had my last baby, both of my sisters had babies born with congenital heart issues, one benign, one severe. So Dr. Dwyer, even though everything looked OK to him, sent me up to Eastern Virginia Medical School so they could double- and triple-check.
The process is exactly like every other ultrasound I've had (except a bit longer). The pictures looked the same. The technician was very friendly and kept commenting "What a pretty baby!" She was able to confirm that she is DEFINITELY a girl (yay!) and gave us an A+ for everything. No heart issues or other issues that she could see at all. At one point (and I so wish I had a
picture of this), she had her hand up to her head, and it looked like she was swooning like a drama queen. I think she'll take after her sisters, huh?
Here are some pictures:

Profile with her hand by her face. It kept looking like she was going for her thumb. :)

Another profile that shows that she has my nose, for sure.

Girly parts :)

I think she looks an awfully lot like Micah in this one.

Jon says she looks like Micah AND me. Especially in this one because
he says it looks like she is holding a book.

Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read....

2009-11-03T11:22:00.003-05:00

....this is how we approach Christmas in our family. Each kid gets four gifts that meet the above criteria. (I get some little stocking stuffers, too.) I don't want my kids to have a material explosion for Christmas. Usually, I have some pretty good ideas for what to get them. I get suggestions from them for the "something you want" category, of course. I try to accomodate (within reason, as long as it's age-appropriate and not hideously expensive) their requests, even if I think to myself (usually rightly so) "you'll NEVER play with/use that". Whatever. It's "something YOU want", not "something I WANT YOU TO HAVE".
I'm having trouble this year, though. Maybe it's the economy and the scarcity of funds that's making me so Grinchy. But really, when I look at these categories, only the "something you want" category even makes sense to me. Because there's really, really nothing they need. They truly, truly don't need any more clothing. We honestly, honestly, have too many books in this house. They're overrunning our place to keep them. We are expecting a baby in March with all the gack that goes along with that.
Anyone have any suggestions?

Just in case you missed my Facebook status update...

2009-11-02T20:40:00.001-05:00

....another example of "good thing I have thick skin":
Abbie (to me): You look different.
Me: How do I look different?
Abbie: You look like an Oompa-Loompa. I don't like that headband.

It's a girl!

2009-10-27T11:05:00.001-04:00

Everything looks good; the doctor and technician both said "with 95% certainty" that its' a girl.
No good pictures, either profile or of "the goods", but all is well.

A plug for a favorite product, and a self-indulgent prayer request

2009-10-26T20:55:00.002-04:00

My absolute favorite place to buy "mama-time" things is The Yum-Yum Shoppe. Talitha is on a message board that I frequent, and her stuff is to die for. Several months ago, at the recommendation of a friend, I switched from using regular facial-cleaning products to using the Oil-Cleansing Method. It seemed counter-intuitive at the time, because I often felt that I had oily skin. It turns out I was CAUSING my oily skin with commercial detergents trying to prevent my adult-onset acne. Good grief. Talitha makes an awesome oil blend that I've been loving for several months. I also use her facial serum for moisturizer. I've now been converted to a devotee of her Lip Butters (I got peppermint and juicy fruit), and they totally rock.
OK, commercial over, but you should seriously check out her website.

And for the self-indulgent prayer request...we are praying for a SHOW-OFFY baby tomorrow for our ultrasound. This is the "big one", where the do the anatomy scan to check that the baby is developing as s/he should. That, of course, is the main thing; that we get a healthy baby report. But selfishly, we'd also like a "boy/girl" report. Please pray that our baby will show us the goods! We'll let you know sometime after 10 AM tomorrow. Probably with pictures, too, if I can get my scanner to work.

Happy birthday to my awesome Mommy!

2009-10-10T13:34:00.003-04:00

She's pretty much the bomb. I've been told (often, actually, and I'm not trying to brag on myself) that I'm some kind of "SuperWoman/SuperMom" thing. (To which I say...yeah, whatever.) The people I hear it from mostly are referring to my ability to seemingly just "roll with it"...that I don't get fazed by much.
Well, in case you're wondering...my mom is where I learned it. Among other things, like how to be a patient mother, a loving and forgiving and interested wife, a creative teacher.
My mediocre housekeeping skills, in case you're wondering....yeah, I got those on my own. Also my sarcastic tongue...not from my mom.
Happy birthday, Mama! I love you so much.

I know I've shared this one before, but that's baby ME in there!

My practically-teenaged parents with me. (No, they weren't really teenagers. Well, Mommy was but I think Daddy was 21.)

Bath in the sink at my Nana's house.

Mommy with Abbie, still in the hospital.

Mommy and I last year.

My "day in the life"

2009-10-03T12:25:00.003-04:00

A message board that I frequent does this a few times a year. We take pictures of our day, upload them, caption, and show each other what we do for an entire day. I've not taken part in one before, mostly because I forget, but I gave it a shot this time. Not terribly interesting, but here ya go, if you're interested:
http://picasaweb.google.com/beautifulbeachmusic/GretchenSDITL#

I'd love to see one that you guys do! Send me a link if you end up trying it. It was kind of fun, actually.

I suck at blogging, part fifty-million.

2009-09-17T13:47:00.002-04:00

Yeah, it's been more than a month since I updated. It's not that nothing has happened, it's just that I'm lazy. ("It's just the way God made me!" Gwenn and Melody will get that.)
We started school on August 24th. It's been going pretty well, for the most part. It's been a little difficult getting into the swing of things with three kids instead of 2, but they've been great. Abbie is learning to read (!) and is enjoying it a lot. Micah still struggles with writing. I don't think it's the writing, per se, that's hard for him, but the concentration. If I'm not right on top of him, he totally zones out. I'm going to have to find some more challenging ideas for Katie, too. I think she's getting bored.
We had our annual Bender Labor Day Bash again this year. It was great fun; we had nine folks from Creation staying with us (4 in the trailer, 5 inside) and 1 staying with Mom. We went to the beach, had 2 bridge-jumping expeditions (not me!), went shooting, ate lots of good food, and in general just had a great time visiting.
We've had a busy month so far. Katie is playing soccer again, and that's usually 3 times a week. Micah and Abbie are both in gymnastics, which is only once a week, but they're not in the same class anymore, so it's still two trips out there. I'm still with the worship team, of course, and the kids are enjoying Wee Worship (a worship dance group for kids) while I practice with the team.
We've had P.E. with our homeschool group, and we are taking a trip to Williamsburg, VA, this weekend for a fun/educational camping trip with the group. Next weekend, the kids and I are travelling with my dad to NJ for my cousin Johanna's wedding. I am very excited about this, not just because of the wedding, but because I just love seeing my family and letting the kids get to know them. Daddy and I are planning to take them to Three Bridges Church (where I grew up) on Sunday morning. Melody and her girls are coming out, too, so that should be a good time.
In other news, we finally got Abbie in to see an ear, nose and throat specialist yesterday about her tonsils. He confirmed what I suspected, which is that they are abnormally large and definitely are the cause of her snoring, sleep apnea and nasal quality to her voice. So they are coming out next month (October 12th). I've been told it's a pretty miserable recovery, so please pray for us!
Well, I've got to get ready for our trip, and I've got tons of laundry to fold, so that's it for now. I'll try to update more than once a millenium. (OK, month. I've been told I'm prone to hyperbole.)

The 10-minute challenge

2009-08-06T13:30:00.002-04:00

My mother started using this method a few days ago, and blogged about it here. I decided what the heck, and I tried it yesterday. I LOVE IT. It is so rewarding. I stuck to the ten minutes (more or less), and got the entire house (more or less) presentable in less than 45 minutes. Today I did more. This is truly a great method for someone like me with an instant gratification problem and a short attention span. Also, working with a timer brings out my competitive streak. I think I will get a timer I can carry around with me; the only one I have is on my oven.
Anyway, thanks, Mommy!

The great clothing explosion

2009-08-05T09:22:00.003-04:00

...also known as "my kids have too damn much clothing". Which kind of makes me sick, actually. And sad, when I stop to think about it. I realized that when all the laundry is clean at the same time (which, truthfully, is hardly ever), we literally cannot fit all their clothing in the drawers. So my goal was to purge whatever doesn't fit. I had kind of a grand idea that they could keep x number of tops, x number of pairs of shorts, but scrapped that idea. The revised goal (which worked since all my laundry was *gasp* clean at the same time) was "You can keep it if it fits in your drawer".
So today I have THREE kitchen-sized trash bags full of clothing to bring to Hotline (our local thrift store).
Next in line: the dreaded toy shelves *insert scary Jaws-like music here*. It's always drama, because something gets unearthed that literally hasn't been seen in six months, and I go to put it in the Hotline bag, and somehow some kid sees it and says, "noooooooo! that's my faaaaaavorite toy! I looooooove that toy and I play with it alllllll the tiiiiiiime!" Another annoying tendency my kids have is to always want to save cardboard boxes or random packing things because "I'm making a house for my guys" or what-have-you. Now, I'm all about creative play. And I love that they can make playthings out of recyclables. But come on, now! We're drowning in old shoe boxes! And no, I'm not saving every scrap of paper you ever took a pen to! (Side note: the pre-school that my kids went to, while great in almost every way, had the horrible habit of sending home at least 3-6 pieces of random "artwork" or "seatwork" EVERY. DAY. You can only keep so much, you know? Like, none.)
Anyway, if I think of it, I'll take before and after pictures. I definitely need to do some work before Baby comes in March. Otherwise we might lose him/her in the clutter.

Another kid funny...because my son is hilarious.

2009-07-26T08:07:00.001-04:00

Yesterday afternoon, Abbie somehow closed the closet door on her foot. She was (ultimately) fine, but a lot of crying ensued. I gave her an ice pack to put on it. Micah came over and squatted down next to her, and said, "Abbie, can I see it?" Abbie tearfully lifted the ice pack and showed him the red line across her foot. Micah said, "Wow, Abbie, you are really brave. If that happened to ME, I'd be crying like a little schoolgirl."
I'm still laughing out loud about this.

Breaking my silence...

2009-07-23T20:59:00.002-04:00

....I really just haven't had much to say lately. Well, I did have some news, but I don't think there are any people who read this blog who I'm not a) related to b) working with c) live in Manteo or d) Facebook friends with. But for the one of you that might exist....psssst.....the secret's out: I'm pregnant! :) Baby is due in March.
This week has been fun. The kids have had VBS at Mt. Olivet this week and have been having a blast. Melody came down from Pennsylvania with Evie and her brand-new baby, Cana. It's been really neat meeting Cana when she's so teeny...and she is TEENY! I can't get over how little she is; she's way littler than even Abbie was, and she was my smallest.
But my real reason for breaking my blog silence is to tell you that my niece, Evie, is just about the funniest thing ever. Melody and Chris have taught her all kinds of expressions that crack me up. For instance, she's not thirsty, she's "parched". If you say, "Question..." she will come right back with "Yes, Dwight?" Tonight, she was having trouble rolling out the PlayDoh I had taken out for her, and she whined, "I CAN'T DO IT! HELP ME!" I said, "Evie, how do we ask?" Without missing a beat, she said, "Please-most-wonderful-Auntie-Gretchen!"
Sigh. I love that kid.

If your dryer is ever broken.....

2009-07-09T22:32:00.002-04:00

....as in, when you attempt to turn the switch to "START", it moans as if it wants to start but just doesn't have the energy (much as I feel most of the time), and you go for four days over the holiday to call your landlord and hang all your clothes including your work clothes out on your handy-dandy clothesline and then forget to take them in and it downpours and you're totally frustrated and fed-up and when you finally call your landlord he says his guy will come "tomorrow or the next day" and now it's the next NEXT day and you're about to scream because it's been a week now, get your husband to check and see if there's a DIME jammed in the door, causing it not to latch correctly.
Because that's probably what's wrong with it.

An auntie again!

2009-07-04T02:04:00.003-04:00

My sister Melody and her husband Chris (and their daughter Evie) welcomed Cana Strayer tonight! 6 lbs. 5 oz. of perfect new yumminess.
Thanks for your prayers regarding her could-have-been-but-thanks-be-to-God-wasn't-very tumultuous entrance into this world.
Can't wait to meet you, sweet thing! I love you already!

OK, so the smell thing

2009-06-15T08:49:00.003-04:00

Last week, I noticed a vaguely funky odor in my kitchen. I sniffed around. Couldn't find anything. The left side of my kitchen is a possible odor nightmare, as the refrigerator, trash can, washer and dryer are all right in a row. So I don't find anything.
The next day, a bit worse. Smells like musty old man breath. (You KNOW what I mean.) Not like rotting trash, or fruit, or mildewy clothes. Still can't find it.
Third day now horrible. Go through refrigerator, nothing. No dirty/stinky clothes in washer. No not-quite-dry-so-now-musty clothes in dryer. Trash can empty.
Wait. Waaaait just one minute. What's that BEHIND the trash can? Oh, it's the lid to the trash can. (Why do I even keep that? It's NEVER on the trash can. Screw it, I'm going to throw it away.) But as I lift it, yuck, what's that black liquid pooling on it? OH MY GROSS, IT SMELLS SO FOUL! WHAT IS THIS VILE MIASMA OF NASTINESS?????
I look up, to behold a lone potato sitting underneath a bag of onions in the produce basket that hangs from the underside of the cabinet. The onions are fine; the potato, sadly, is not. At arm's length, with a paper-towel-covered hand, I throw the potato in the trash can. Then gag into said trash can. Carry the bag out. Go spray the offending liquid puddle with some strong chemical. Gag again. Almost leave it for Jon to clean up, honestly only because he has a stronger stomach. Soldier on. Have to move refrigerator to get entire puddle. Gag some more. Dry-heave into trash can.
Get the picture? Have I painted it well enough?
In other news, we leave for Creation THE DAY AFTER TOMORROOOOOOW! Woo-hoo!

What's the WORST smell you can think of?

2009-06-11T16:01:00.001-04:00

Seriously. The worst EVER. (OK, don't get too graphic. I'm not talking dead bodies or anything. Just your average, run-of-the-mill, might-encounter-it-occasionally-or-hopefully-only-this-once-in-your-lifetime smell.)
I'll tell you why later, but I'd be interested in what it is for you.

A photo shoot

2009-06-10T13:14:00.004-04:00

We took pictures at the Lost Colony park last week. I will post more later, because Israel took the "real" pictures. I haven't sorted through those yet. These are some that I took over his shoulder while he was working. I love them!

She posed herself like this. Princess much?

Ahh, that pensive look she's perfected.

Micah was actually just climbing here, not posing.

Check out the eyes! Love it.

Silly pictures are best.

Again with the pensive.

Easily my favorite of all of them.

Cutie Abbie.

My rugrats.

The whole group.

My smarty kids....

2009-05-28T11:40:00.002-04:00

....scored 111/120 (Katie) and 92/100 (Micah) on their standardized tests for this year. This is a great achievement in itself, but to add to that, I test them at one grade level higher than their age. So Katie's pre-school pals are in 1st, but she tested 2nd, Micah's are in K and he tested 1st, clear as mud?
I'm so proud of them! I also did a reading-level assessment and Katie is at a 7th grade reading level, Micah at a high 4th grade.
I love these kids, and I love homeschooling.
That is all.

Non-cuss words and "Mother of the Year"

2009-05-24T22:14:00.002-04:00

Sunday mornings are madness in my life. Every alternate Sunday, Jon is on duty and can't attend church with us, so I've got the kids to myself. The getting ready part isn't too bad; I've got that down pretty well. However, since I'm one of the worship leaders, I have to be there an hour early for rehearsal. I try to bring stuff for them to do (there's no one in the nursery at that time), like pads and pens and books and small toys and stuff. But here's how it usually goes:
In the car when we're almost there, we have a recitation of "the rules". The rules are, more or less, 1. stay in the front of the church, right where I can see you
2. no running in the sanctuary
3. no crawling under chairs
4. no throwing toys
5. no coming up on stage unless either I call you or someone is direly injured.
6. keep your shoes on unless you're wearing flip-flops
7. when church starts, sit with Nana, Mama Candy, Grandad, or Miss Christina. Pick one of them and stay there.

So, we get there, I go to put my stuff down and turn on my gear, and instantly the shoes are off, the bag of books and pens is opened and stuff is scattered everywhere, and Micah starts flinging a stuffed animal into the air. (I'm thinking he's trying to get it stuck in an overhead light.)
The whole time I'm rehearsing, I'm leaning away from my live microphone and hissing, "STOP THAT! LEAVE HERE ALONE! QUIT THROWING STUFF! DON'T JUMP OFF THE CHAIRS!"

This morning, there is some hostility going on between Katie and Micah. Katie catches my eye (we weren't actually playing yet at this point) and says, "MOMMY! Micah said a BAD WORD! He said the S-WORD!" I about swallowed my tongue in shock. I called Micah up to me and said, "Micah! What did you say?!?!" He mumbled, "I don't want to say it." I said, "Whisper it in my ear." So he leaned over and said, "stupid. I'M SORRY, MAMA!"

It was pretty hard to cover my giggles at that one.

After church, we went to the beach with my girlfriends and their collective kids. It was great fun, but after we returned home, De-Ann and I discovered that we should jointly hold the Mother of the Year Award for Suckiness in Sunscreen Application (kids' body division). I love to use the continous-spray sunscreen, but apparently I didn't take into account the wind in my application of it (either time). So now we all have blotchy red spots, me mostly on my legs and Micah and Abbie on their back. Also, the tops of Abbie's legs and Micah's back at the waistband of his trunks are FRIED. De-Ann uses lotion, and apparently just mixed too much sand in it or something, because her two eldest girls are BRIGHT red on their backs.
So, some aloe spray and some ice cream were in order tonight.

And a cold beer for me.

Funny things my kids say, part 538

2009-05-15T00:09:00.002-04:00

Micah (after spending the evening with Nanny and Grandad, by himself): Well, Nanny and Grandad were eating dinner, but I already had dinner at home, so I had some of that...what's it called? I think it's called "Christian ice"?" Seconds go by. Then I realize he means "Italian ice". Not sure where that went awry.

Abbie (after having a completely disgusting discussion with me and Katie about snot and phlegm and "loogies", and having been told by me, once again, that eating boogers is nasty): "Well, when I'm FIVE I'll probably stop eating my boogers."

Micah (out of the blue): "Mom, what does 'heartache and misery' mean?" Me: "Where did you hear that?" Micah: "Oh, I just read it somewhere." (One must ask: Does your mother ever check on what you're reading? The answer, embarrassingly, is 'Rarely'. This gem, in particular, happened to come out of the book series "The Spiderwick Chronicles". Which I DID check on.)

Katie: "Kissing is disgusting." Sigh. And so it begins.

Something else my son can do (as of this week)

2009-05-11T23:35:00.002-04:00

Today Micah was wearing shorts with a drawstring on them. I said, "Hey, buddy, let me help you." (Meanwhile thinking, "Oh, yeah, I should teach this kid to tie.") He said, "No, I got it." I watched, interested, thinking that surely he was about to tie it into a gnarly knot. To my great surprise, he tied a bow. Not a perfect one, but it was definitely a recognizable bow. Shocked, I said, "How did you learn how to tie? Did Daddy teach you?" He replied, "No. I just taught myself. Popah (Jon's dad) showed me how one time and I just watched him."
Amazing.

A great article about homeschooling and socialization (I HATE that word!)

2009-05-11T23:34:00.000-04:00

No Thank You,
We Don't Believe in Socialization!
©2000 Lisa Russell
Used with Permission

I can't believe I am writing an article about socialization, The word makes my skin crawl. As homeschoolers, we are often accosted by people who assume that since we're homeschooling, our kids won't be "socialized." The word has become such a catch phrase that it has entirely lost any meaning.

The first time I heard the word, I was attending a Catholic day school as a first grader.

Having been a "reader" for almost 2 years, I found the phonics and reading lessons to be incredibly boring. Luckily the girl behind me felt the same way, and when we were done with our silly little worksheets, we would chat back and forth. I've never known two 6 yr. olds who could maintain a quiet conversation, so naturally a ruler-carrying nun interrupted us with a few strong raps on our desk. We were both asked to stay in at recess, and sit quietly in our desks for the entire 25 minutes, because "We are not here to socialize, young ladies."

Those words were repeated over and over throughout my education, by just about every teacher I've ever had. If we're not there to socialize, then why were we there? I learned to read at home. If I finished my work early (which I always did,) could I have gone home? If I were already familiar with the subject matter, would I have been excused from class that day? If schools weren't made for socializing, then why on earth would anyone assume that homeschoolers were missing out?

As a society full of people whose childhood’s were spent waiting anxiously for recess time, and trying desperately to "socialize" with the kids in class; It is often difficult for people to have an image of a child whose social life is NOT based on school buddies. Do you ever remember sitting in class, and wanting desperately to speak to your friend? It's kind of hard to concentrate on the lessons when you're bouncing around trying not to talk. Have you ever had a teacher who rearranged the seats every now and then, to prevent talking, splitting up friends and "talking corners." Were you ever caught passing notes in class?

Now- flash forward to "real life." Imagine the following scenes:

Your Employer is auditing the Inter-Office Email system and comes across a personal note between you and a coworker. You are required to stand at the podium in the next sales meeting to read it aloud to your coworkers. The Police knock on your door, and announce that because you and your neighbor have gotten so close, they're separating you. You must move your home and your belongings to the other side of town, and you may only meet at public places on weekends.

You're sitting at a booth waiting for a coworker to arrive for a scheduled lunch date. Suddenly a member of upper management sits down across from you and demands your credit cards. When your friend arrives, you just order water and claim you're not hungry, since he stole your lunch money.

You're applying for a job and in an unconventional hiring practice, you are made to line up with other applicants, and wait patiently while representatives from two competing companies take their pick from the lineup.

You're taking your parents out for an anniversary dinner. After you find a table, a waiter tells you that seniors have a separate dining room, lest they "corrupt" the younger members of society.

You go to the grocery store only to find that since you are 32 years old you must shop at the store for 32 year olds. It's 8 miles away and they don't sell meat because the manager is a vegetarian, but your birthday is coming up and soon you'll be able to shop at the store for 33 yr. olds.

You'd like to learn about Aviation History. You go to the library and check out a book on the subject only to be given a list of "other subjects" that you must read about before you are permitted to check out the aviation book.

You're having a hard time finding what you need in the local department store. The saleslady explains that each item is arranged alphabetically in the store, so instead of having a section for shoes, you will find the men's shoes in between the maternity clothes and the mirrors.

Your Cable Company announces that anyone wishing to watch the Superbowl this year must log on a certain number of hours watching the Discovery Channel before they can be permitted to watch the game.

You apply for a job only to be told that this job is for 29 year olds. Since you're 32, you'll have to stay with your level.

In a group project, your boss decides to pair you up with the person you don't "click" with. His hope is that you'll get learn to get along with each other, regardless of how the project turns out.

These absurd examples were created to point out how absolutely ridiculous the idea of "socializing" in schools is. Many people had a friend who they stayed friends with all through grammar school- WHY? Because their names were alphabetically similar, and they always ended up in line with each other. As an adult, have you ever made friends with someone simply because your names were similar? How long would such a friendship last and how meaningful would it be, providing you had nothing else in common?

People often use the bully as an example of why it's so important to let kids "socialize" at school. If that's so important, then the bully needs to go to JAIL after a few months, because self-respecting society simply doesn't put up with that, nor should my 6 yr. old. Sure, there are crappy people in the world, but the world does a much better job of taking care of these things. A bullying brat in the first grade will still be a bullying brat in the 6th grade. He will still be picking on the same kids year after year after year, unless he moves to a new town. How long would the average adult put up with a bully? Personally, as an adult, I have only come across one grown up bully. I choose not to be around this miserable woman. So do many other people. THAT is real life. If she were a coworker, I would find a different job. If she worked at a business I patronized- not only would I refrain from doing business with that company, I would write a letter to the bully, her manager, the owner and the main office. A kid in a classroom has no way to emotionally protect themselves against such a person. I would never expect my kids to put up with bad treatment from a bully in the name of "toughening them up." For what? So they can be submissive wimps when they grow up too? So they can "ignore" their miserable bosses and abusive spouses? In real life, if an employer discovered that an employee was harassing the other staff members, that employee could be fired (pending the 90 day evaluation) or relocated. In real life, if you are so dreadfully harassed by a coworker you can seek legal recourse independently. In a classroom, the teacher and other children are often powerless.

The idea of learning acceptable social skills in a school is as absurd to me as learning nutrition from a grocery store.

As Homeschoolers, the world is our classroom. We interact with people of all ages, sexes and backgrounds. We talk to and learn from everyone who strikes our interest. We use good manners in our home and I'm always pleased when others comment on the manners my children have picked up. I believe good manners to be an important social skill.

Respecting common areas is also of value to us. We often carry a grocery bag with us on walks, in case we find trash that needs to be discarded. When we're waiting at a bus stop, if there is trash on the ground, we make a point to carry it onto the bus and discard of it properly. Once, while waiting at a bus stop- we saw a grown man drop his popsicle wrapper on the ground. He was 2 feet from a trash can- My daughter looked up at me with eyes as big as saucers. I told her (out loud) "It must have blown out of his hand from that little wind, because no-one would throw trash on the ground on purpose. I'm sure when he's done with his popsicle, he will pick it up and throw it away correctly- otherwise, we can take care of it so we don't have an ugly world." He did pick it up, rather sheepishly. I can't imagine expecting my children to have a respect for the cleanliness of common areas in an environment where bathroom walls are covered in graffiti and trees are scratched with symbols of "love" of all things.

Another social skill we strive to teach our children is that all people are created equal. I can't imagine doing that in an environment where physically disadvantaged children are segregated into a "special" classroom. Or even children who speak a different language at home. They are segregated and forced to learn English, while never acknowledging the unique culture they were raised in, and not enabling the other students to learn FROM them. Learning, in school, comes from the books and teachers. We will learn Spanish from a BOOK, not from a Spanish-speaking student; and not until 7th grade.

I have never felt it would be beneficial to stick my 6-yr. old in a room full of other 6-yr. olds. I believe God created a world full of people of all ages and sexes to insure that the younger ones and older ones learn from each other. A few years ago, we were living thousands of miles from any older family members, so I brought my kids (then 5 and 2) to an assisted living facility, so they could interact with the elderly. Staff members told us that many of the older people would wake up every day and ask if we would be visiting soon. We always went on Wednesdays. My daughters learned some old show tunes while one of the men played piano, and the others would sing along. If I didn't have to chase my 2-yr. old around, I would have had plenty of women ready to share the art of crocheting with me (something I've always wanted to learn.) If a friend was too sick to come out of their room during our visit, we would often spend a few minutes in their room. I always let them give the kids whatever cookies they had baked for them, and I ended up cleaning a few of the apartments while we visited, simply because I would have done the same for my own Grandmother. Every room had pictures from my kids posted on their refrigerators. We called this "Visiting the Grandmas and Grandpas" and my daughters both (almost 2 years later) have fond memories of our visits. I'm sure that if we were still visiting there, my unborn child would have a thousand handmade blankets and booties to keep him warm all winter.

I don't remember any such experiences in my entire School life, although I do remember being a bit afraid of old people if they were too wrinkly or weak looking. I never really knew anyone over 60. I never sped down the hall on someone's wheelchair lap, squealing as we popped wheelies and screeched around corners. I never got to hear stories about what life was like before indoor plumbing and electricity, from the point of view of a woman with Alzheimer’s, who might believe she was still 5 years old, talking with my daughter as if she were a friend. I never got to help a 90 yr. old woman keep her arm steady while she painted a picture. And I never watched a room full of "grandma's" waiting for me by the window, because we were 15 minutes late.

On a recent visit to an Art Gallery, we noticed a man walking back and forth, carrying framed artwork from his old pickup truck. I asked my 6 yr. old if she thought he might be the artist. We both agreed that was a possibility, and after a little pep-talk to overcome her stage fright, she approached him and asked. He was the artist, and he was bringing in his work to be evaluated by the curator. We all sat down and he explained some of his techniques and listened to her opinions about which piece she liked best. He told about how he enjoyed art when he was 6 and would "sell" pictures to family and friends. He recounted how he felt while creating a few of the pieces, and how each one has special meaning to him. He even let her know how nervous he was to show them to the curator and how he hoped she found them as interesting as we did. As he was called into the office, a group of thirty-four 3rd graders filed past, ever so quietly, while their teacher explained each piece on the walls. The children were so quiet and well behaved. They didn't seem to mind moving on from one picture to the next (The problem with homeschoolers is they tend to linger on things they enjoy). They didn't seem to have any questions or comments (Maybe they'll discuss that later in class). And they never got a chance to meet the gentleman in the pickup truck.

I hope my kids aren't missing out on any "socialization."

drum roll please

2009-05-04T17:42:00.000-04:00

Look what my boy can do!

Check back later...

2009-05-04T13:51:00.001-04:00

....for exciting video of a skill acquired by my middle child this weekend.
*taps foot impatiently, waiting for Nana to upload the video*

In other news, my eldest has apparently acquired a minute-by-minute countdown of how much time is left in the day today until her first-ever tennis lesson. Jeepers. This day is draggin'.

A new 'do!

2009-04-30T16:19:00.005-04:00

Abbie got her first "big girl" haircut today (sniff, sniff). She's been asking and asking, and frankly not only am I sick of her begging, but I'm equally if not more sick of picking food out of her hair. She is seriously the messiest eater I have EVER known. Even if her hair's pulled back (and it usually is), it never fails that she will end up with a gob of peanut butter or a blob of jelly or a smear of ketchup or a filament-thin strand of stretched-out chewing gum in her pretty blond hair. Also, as it's gotten longer, it's strangely prone to breakage and split ends. SO...all that to say that she got about 6-8" hacked off today! I forgot to take my camera to the salon, but y'all remember what she looked like before, right? Here she is this afternoon:

And then, just because it looks hilariously gross, here is Micah, holding up the giant Tootsie Roll that he picked out on the special trip Jessica took downtown to the Stock-Aid with the kiddos:

He thinks it's decidedly un-funny, however, if you call it his "poo candy". Come on, that's COMEDY right there! (*insert eye roll*)

Our last day in Jacmel

2009-04-17T08:07:00.002-04:00

We won't be flying out of Haiti until Sunday, but we are leaving Jacmel tomorrow (Saturday) to stay overnight in Port-au-Prince. The senate elections are on Sunday, so traffic may be bad getting there. We are staying at a guest house on Saturday night.
The work here has been going SO well. We accomplished more (I think) than we had planned. Gwenn's house is now painted, it's scrubbed, it has a new kitchen counter area, it's been powerwashed, and her stuff is in it. We are going over there again today with Pastor Placide to pray over the whole house. This afternoon, we are going back to the beach with Danny's kids (they're off today because of the elections this weekend). Before we swim, we're going to de-trash the beach as a service project to the community. Tonight, we're going to the English service at the church.
This trip has been exciting and exhausting on so many levels. I miss my family so much. Being here has made it harder, in some ways, to deal with Gwenn and Nick going away. But it's also been incredible to see their new home, to meet their new friends/family (Sandra and Nixon, the parents of the team housing, are AMAZING!), to get to know some of the kids in Danny's family, to go to their new church. Another great thing that's come out of this trip for me is getting to know Kristi, Gwenn's sister-in-law (Kristi's married to Nick's brother). I never really spent any time with her before, and she ROCKS! Seriously, she is the most hard-core lady I've met in a long time.
So I'm sure I'll be posting gobs of pictures when I get back. (Probably not until at least Tuesday, though.)
Pray for us as we travel; for safe flight and for no election-related unrest in the country this weekend. Thanks for your continued prayer and support (and for your *snort* "hedge of protection" around me. I've felt it this week, truly.).

I am HERE!

2009-04-12T18:21:00.002-04:00

We got into Port-au-Prince about 2:30 PM yesterday. After the lines through immigration and customs, we piled into 2 different vehicles (Gwenn and Nick's new pickup being one of them! Brand-new, with the plastic still on the seats) and made the 3+ hour journey through some of the windiest, steepest mountain roads I've ever been on. It was scary and exciting all at once. The road drops off on the side to INCREDIBLY steep cliffs. We got into team housing in Jacmel about 6:30 ish. After unloading and a wonderful dinner prepared by LeAnn and Sandra, I CRASHED. In a bed with mosquito netting!
It is hot here but not as hot as I thought it would be. So far, I've not gotten any mosquito bites.
This morning was one of my turns to help with breakfast. I prepared pancakes for 14 people and then washed dishes for said people (there is no hot running water in the house, and the water you do have needs to be conserved, so it was kind of like washing dishes when camping, complete with heating the water on the stove.
After breakfast and a short time of devotions, we went to church. What a great time! It's just up the street from team housing, so we walked. Church was crowded and hot, but FUN. We walked in just as the worship team was starting up. My mom and I got a chance to minister in music (I sang a song, which was meant to have a CD accompaniment, but the CD player didn't work! so I sang it a cappella.) Mom was signing the song for the deaf children who attend from a local deaf school. Interestingly, Haitians use American Sign Language for the deaf here, so although Mom can't speak Kreyol, she CAN communicate quite well with the deaf kids and the adults who sign.
Danny Pye (the house-father for the current HCH kids) was preaching this morning, so it was in English. The church leaders dedicated three babies to the Lord at the end of the service.
After that, it was back to team housing for lunch. I managed to sneak in a quick nap after lunch (I AM TIRED! and we haven't even worked yet!), and then we got to go see Gwenn's new house (where we'll be working for the rest of the week). This part was HARD. I was thrilled to be able to be with Gwenn when she toured her new digs, and with Nia when she picked HER new bedroom. But it just made it all that much more real for me, I think.
I have some pictures to post but may not be able to until I get home.
I miss my Jon. A lot. And my kids. A LOT. But I love this place.

A story about why I should take the time to put tags on my blogs.

2009-04-06T14:32:00.002-04:00

If I did that, I could do a search of my own blog and see if I've posted before about how AWESOME my friend Neil is. I know I've told you about him when he re-did my floor. I like to cook with Neil because it's always an event and not just a meal. Also, he's ridiculously helpful.
Yesterday, we had a party for Jon (his birthday's tomorrow! so send him an e-mail to say hey jon.bender@yahoo.com). We had...let's see...12 adults and 9 kids here. We grilled steak and Neil made an incredible dish that he calls "loaded baked-potato salad". It's like potato salad on steroids. Yum. Anyway, he came over about an hour before people got here, helped me finish cleaning up, made said salad, helped with the grilling, then proceeded to serve everyone who was here like I hired him to cater. He ALSO did the dishes and cleaned up my kitchen while I was outside saying good-bye to some folks.
I love this guy. Neil has one of the biggest servant's hearts that I've ever known. I am blessed to count him as one of my best friends.

Happy birthday to my Gwennie!

2009-04-02T11:05:00.005-04:00

I do not remember my life before Gwenn was in it. (Literally!) I was 20 months old when she was born, so she's always been there, in my mind. When we were little, we fought like crazy (sorry, Gwennie), but we also made forts and made up languages and argued over who was going to be Paula/Carol when we played Magic Garden.
This will likely be the last birthday for a while that Gwenn and I will be in the same country. In 25 days, she's moving to Haiti to follow God's call on her and Nick's life to "feed the widows and the orphans". I am so proud of them, and so sad for me. But the proud is DEFINITELY bigger than the sad.
Thank You, Jesus, for my Gwennie.

A "hedge of protection"

2009-04-01T13:23:00.002-04:00

I totally use this expression, too! I may change that.

In all seriousness, though, please do pray for me and for our team as we travel to Haiti next week. I keep coming back to the scripture "the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective". (So all you heathen, don't bother. KIDDING! KIDDING!)

Helloo....is this thing on?

2009-03-30T23:33:00.001-04:00

Come on, people! I'm not feeling the love! If you don't comment I don't feel validated and I will take my toys and go home! *pouts in the corner*

I'm stealing this from Gwenn's blog...

2009-03-30T00:45:00.002-04:00

...because this is just too good not to share. Holy heck, I am laughing out loud here. (I started laughing AFTER I gagged about the idea, by the way. This is a prime example of American excess.)
So...the trouble: Want your male dog/cat/bull/horse to be neutered to eliminate those nasty male-animal habits (roaming, marking, aggressiveness)? (NEWS FLASH TO NEUTICLE INVENTORS: HUMAN MALES DO THAT, TOO.) But what's that you say? You don't want to injure your PET'S SELF-ESTEEM? You don't want your dog to be slapped on the doggie playground and called a eunuch? You want to make sure your "fixed" dog retains those weird dangly testicles? (Ewwwww. So gross.)
Good thing some COMPLETE TOOL invented NEUTICLES! OK, if you can get beyond the name, read on. And ESPECIALLY don't miss the gift shop. (Note to all readers: if anyone buys me Neuticles earrings, I will slap you. But I will totally wear them.)
I can't stop laughing. This is the most hilarious thing I have seen since the Snuggie parody commercial.

My sisters

2009-03-25T14:03:00.002-04:00

We are an unruly bunch. We make jokes that not only border on inappropriate, we go screaming OVER the border. We encourage our children to do things that make them look foolish so we can laugh at them. (Also, Gwenn and I are likely to try and compete for the "best fun auntie" title. It's really not fair to do that to a 2o-month old! Even if she's really smart.) (Evie, not Gwenn. Gwenn's smart too, though.)
One of the things about my family that no one else seems to get (ESPECIALLY not my husband) is that we are LOUD. We laugh a lot, we talk over each other (and no one's feelings get hurt because that's just how we are). When all of us are together, Jon will often go hang out on the porch with my Dad or one of the guys because he just can't stand the noise. I honestly don't even notice it anymore.
Gwenn leaves in 34 days to move to Haiti, so this is probably the last time that all the sisters will be together until November. What to do, what to do? I'm going to make a cake for Gwenn's birthday in a few minutes; Mommy made spaghetti for dinner, we're going to wax each other's eyebrows and possibly do our toenails. (But not while we eat spaghetti. That would be gross.)
No other reason for this rambly blog but to ramble and talk about how awesome my family is.

Yo mama.

2009-03-20T10:20:00.001-04:00

A friend of mine posted this idea on her Facebook...I had to do it!

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Katie- I love you
Micah - I love you
Abbie - that she loves me like crazycakes

2. What makes mom happy?
Katie- folding the laundry (?)
Micah - doing laundry for her (He got it right!)
Abbie - like me doing my work and having friends over

3. What makes mom sad?
Katie - I don't know
Micah - disobeying
Abbie - that you ask her mad things

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
Katie - making funny faces
Micah - pooting (*blush*)
Abbie - tickling!

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Katie - I have no clue
Micah - I don't know
Abbie - I don't know; I never seen you when you were a little girl!

6. How old is your mom?
Katie - 33
Micah - 33
Abbie - 33

7. How tall is your mom?
Katie - uhh...I don't know
Micah - uhhh...I don' t know
Abbie, uhh, I don't know - at least taller than me

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Katie - play the piano
Micah - going on sailboats (?)
Abbie - fold laundry

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Katie - clean the house (?)
Micah - have some chill-out time
Abbie - uh, fold laundry

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
Katie - playing the piano
Micah - doing her work at Full Moon
Abbie - (doesn't really know what famous is, I don't think)

11. What is your mom really good at?
Katie - playing the piano
Micah - making pancakes
Abbie - playing the piano

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Katie- playing the guitar
Micah - remembering stuff (that's practically slanderous; I have a GREAT memory)
Abbie - I don't know

13. What does your mom do for her job?
Katie- she's a waitress
Micah - work at Full Moon
Abbie - give people food

14. What is your mom's favorite food?
Katie- English muffins
Micah - salad
Abbie - salad

15. What makes you proud of your mom?
Katie - that she's my mom
Micah - Uh, yes, I think something...doing her work
Abbie - I can't think of anything

16. If your mom were on TV, who would she be?
Katie- the singer or something like that
Micah - choir warmer-upper
Abbie - Mommy.... Gretchen

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Katie - have fun
Micah - sometimes go on boats (again with the boats; I think he's got another mother stashed somewhere)
Abbie - fold laundry, watch movies. I can't think of anything else.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Katie - that we're both girls
Micah - we both like sausage
Abbie - we both have eyes

19. How are you and your mom different?
Katie - that I have brown hair and she has red
Micah - you don't like folding laundry and I do
Abbie - because you have red hair and I don't

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Katie - that she does nice things for me
Micah - uh, she tells me
Abbie - because she loves me like crazycakes

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Katie - Busch Gardens (?)
Micah - uh, I think in the snow
Abbie - the mall (Please note: there is no mall within 100 miles of here. Micah, upon overhearing this, said, "What's a mall?")

"Nature abhors a vacuum"

2009-03-19T13:02:00.002-04:00

Idiom Definitions for 'Nature abhors a vacuum'

This idiom is used to express the idea that empty or unfilled spaces are unnatural as they go against the laws of nature and physics."

Apparently, this holds true for a lot of things. In countries all over the world, if there is an upset in power, different factions rush to fill the void.

However, that's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about the vacuum effect that occurs in my household when Jon works nights. (I believe I've mentioned before about the brain damage that occurs from this shift in sleep schedule. Search for a previous post about aluminum foil if you don't believe me.)
When Jon works nights, even on his nights off, he (obviously) is up all night. Sometimes he watches movies, or plays poker on Facebook (or in real life with friends), or folds laundry (bwahahaha), or...actually, that's all I think he does. What he doesn't do is come to bed with me. Which is sometimes OK. I really miss him when he's not there, but occasionally it is nice to have the whole bed to myself.
But that's where the vacuum effect comes into play. Jon and I have always welcomed the children into our bed. When they were infants, they slept with us almost exclusively. As they've gotten older, and transitioned to their own beds, they know that they're still welcome to come be there if they're scared, or sick, or whatever. It doesn't happen that often, though. Unless they are ill, I'd estimate that one or another of them crawls into bed with us MAYBE once every 2-3 weeks.
BUT, when Jon's not there, it's like they sense this vacuum. So they rush to fill it. Sometimes I'll find 2 of them in bed with me in the morning, with no recollection of how they got there.
When Jon came home this morning, Abbie was in my bed. (Vaguely recall it happening.) He laughed and said, "Did she wet her bed? (subtext: and you didn't feel like changing it?)". She hadn't, in fact; she just wanted to come lay with me. But the thought that popped into my head was "Nature abhors a vacuum. And so, apparently, do my children."
It's a good thing.

This. is. AWESOME!

2009-03-19T12:59:00.001-04:00

I love words. The English language is so bizarre!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!
-- B. Shaw __________________

I screwed up.

2009-03-17T16:54:00.001-04:00

And I accidentally deleted Katie's blog whilst changing the username.
So her blog can be viewed at
Katie's Blog

Invisible Mothers

2009-03-17T14:30:00.002-04:00

I VERY rarely (like, once a year rarely) re-post or forward e-mails. This one is another exception. (Sorry about the font; it wouldn't let me change it.)

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To Wendy , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Wendy. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Abbie turned FOUR! (I should have posted this yesterday)

2009-03-17T13:53:00.007-04:00

How is it possible that my "baby" is four years old? That's just RIDICULOUS.
Short Abbie birthday story: After 2 prior (unplanned) c-sections, we decided to schedule one for Abbie rather than roll the dice again. So we registered to come into the hospital at 5:30 AM on the 16th. All our plans were in place; we had childcare for the bigs lined up and everything. Then, about 4:00 PM on the 15th, I got a call from the OBX Hospital that they were "full". (It doesn't take much; there are only 17 beds in the whole hospital, and 4 of them are labor/delivery rooms.) They told me I'd have to come in the following day. I reluctantly agreed, because, really, what else could I do? I called all the people who needed to know this information and settled in to wait another day.
Abbie, however, had other plans. I was woken up by a STRONG contraction at exactly 5:30 AM on the 16th (right when we'd been scheduled!). I labored all day, and by about 6:30 PM I could no longer talk through them, and Jon made me call the hospital. I remember crying to him, "But they're FULL!" and him replying, "Well, they're going to have to make someone move over."
When I got there, it was controlled chaos. They really WERE full. I was in triage for a little while, with contractions coming about 2 minutes apart. I was REALLY upset because my doctor was not on call that night, nor was ANYONE from my practice. I knew I was having a c-section (I never progressed past 2 cm with any of my kids), and it was going to be performed by someone I'd never met! It ended up being a great experience, though; Dr. Kling was very nice and extremely competent. Abbie was born at 10:30 that night.
Abbie is (as my dad would say) "a pistol". She is funny, and sassy, very bright and loving, and also the one who's going to be TOUGH when she's a teenager! She loves to sing (especially her own songs) and play dress-up. She is 900% girl. She's also messy, klutzy and prone to fits of temper. She's still attached (very much so) to her "bee" (blanket) and sucks her thumb. She just switched to panties at bedtime instead of PullUps (thank you God!) and thinks she can read. When she writes her name, the "i" looks like a big fat lollipop. She told me last night when I was laying with her at bedtime, "Mommy, I just fell in love with you!"
Here are some pictures:

In the triage room, about 2 hours before her birth.

Grandad and Micah, waiting for the announcement!

About 2 minutes old.

Daddy, sharing the news with Katie.

Baby footprints.

Meeting Grammy, 1 day old.

First family picture, one day old.

First smile (I don't care what you say, it was a SMILE!)

The day before we went home.

First birthday cake.

Turning two.

Turning three, with pink-streaked hair.

Funny picture with Nanny's glasses, just because.

Almost four, my little princess!

Katie's blog

2009-03-16T18:44:00.001-04:00

Check it out: Katie's Blog

She's been bugging me about it for days. So there ya go.

Knock, knock.

2009-03-15T23:48:00.002-04:00

It's a known fact that knock-knock jokes will amuse a three-year-old for indefinite amounts of time. Seriously, the more incomprehensible the punchline, the harder they cackle. (Overheard in my van, between Micah and Julie when they were three: Micah: Knock, knock. Julie: Who's there? Micah: Tree. Julie: Tree who? Micah: TREE THAT LOOKS LIKE A HOUSE bwahahahahaha! They both dissolve in giggles. Then they repeat the same one, only switching roles. Repeat, ad nauseum, world without end, amen and amen. You get the picture.)
BUT DID YOU KNOW that a THIRTY-three year old (namely me) will laugh OUT loud, many times at a knock-knock joke? Only if it's this one, though:

Truly? If you don't laugh at that joke you may not have a soul. Check on that.

This is the part of the show where Gretchen says, "Pot? This is kettle. You're black."

2009-03-11T17:23:00.004-04:00

...because I'm about to call out a BUNCH of y'all for being sorry-ass bloggers like me. Ahem...Shelley (your personal one, not the food one), Melody, Mom, NEIL (you jerk; I've been waiting for that one!), Jen S., Becka (and Becka...the "well I'm a missionary and I'm on the road" excuse? Not working for me anymore. I neeeeeed more!)
Yes, my loyal four readers, I'm a hypocrite. And a sucky updater. I'm going through a "downswing" recently with regard to depression, sloth, laziness and general malaise. ('Tis the season.)
But I do have a funny to share. Last week, Jon and I shuttled the kids off to a playdate and tackled Micah's room. We had planned to do both his and the girls', but realized that not only could we not do that in three hours, but we likely couldn't do it in three DAYS. Anyway, I was in major purge mode. We got rid of an entire trash bag of junk (shhhh, he doesn't know that, because I put it in the outside trash before he got home). The "good stuff", though, we decided to send to Evie. The "good stuff" consists of a very nice easel that my mom and dad bought for him when he turned two (and which saw a lot of use back in the day but hasn't been used recently for probably eight-ish months) and a shopping bag full of Little People stuff (Noah's Ark, a school bus, a tow truck w/ people, etc.). When Micah saw the easel in the hallway, awaiting transportation to its new home (thank you, Shelley!), he immediately went into full drama-queen mode: "I don't waaaaant to give away my easel! I loooooove it! I uuuuse it alll the tiiiiiime!" (Note: True. True. FALSE.) I basically (nicely) told him to suck it up. So, later, when I go past the easel in the hall, here's the message he's written on the chalkboard. TO THE EASEL.

Dictionary.com....or, "Bible study FAIL"

2009-03-04T22:55:00.004-05:00

im⋅mo⋅late

–verb (used with object), -lat⋅ed, -lat⋅ing.

1.	to sacrifice.

2.	to kill as a sacrificial victim, as by fire; offer in sacrifice.

to destroy by fire.

em⋅u⋅late

verb (used with object)

1.	to try to equal or excel; imitate with effort to equal or surpass: to emulate one's father as a concert violinist.

2.	to rival with some degree of success: Some smaller cities now emulate the major capitals in their cultural offerings.

Can we see that these two words are NOT the same word? Tee-hee. This is a flyer for a Bible study starting locally. Words cannot describe the mirth that occurred upon discovering this vocabulary error. So if you hear me say to any of my kids, "Hey, do you ever want to light me on fire?", it's not because I'm completely crazy. Well, I am, but that's not why.

Here's a picture of said flyer:

Oh, and if you double-click on the image, it'll make it bigger so you can get the full effect. Snaps to Jan Culpepper for being such a good sport when having it brought to her attention.

JULY 11!!!

2009-03-02T20:03:00.002-05:00

That is when I'm going with Neil and Holly (and don't know who else) to see these guys. And these guys. And THESE guys.
This is the soundtrack of my childhood, y'all. Oh, wait, I already said that about the Magic Garden.
OK, so let's call this the soundtrack of my angsty adolescence.

The great kitchen re-model!

2009-02-17T17:45:00.005-05:00

OK, so it wasn't a re-model. Actually, not even close. We (and by "we", I mean Neil) just replaced the vinyl floor tiles. Have you ever used the stick-on vinyl floor squares? They TOTALLY rock. Seriously, you just line them up, peel off the backing like a Band-Aid, and stick them on. The only cutting you have to do is along the edges. It took a total of about 3 hours, including moving furniture and appliances to do it.
I decided on Wednesday morning that I just. couldn't. stand. the current floor. I don't know how long it'd been there, but it was a) light-colored - so showed dirt a LOT and b) so scratched up that even though I might mop it every day (which of course I don't), it NEVER looked clean. Neil had stayed over the night before because we were up watching a movie, so as we were enjoying our coffee, I blurted out, "I can't stand this floor! You've done vinyl tile before; how much do you think it would cost to replace this?" We did a bit of figuring and took a trip to Home Depot. We bought 4 boxes of vinyl tile for a grand total of $130 including tax. I bought Neil beer and cigarettes for his labor payment (bad, bad, I know, but hey...it's cheaper than paying him $20 an hour, which he deserves. And he didn't even want a carton of cigarettes, just a pack, because, as he said, "I'll just smoke more if I have more").
Oh, yeah, another cool thing about these tiles: you don't have to peel up the old flooring. You just make sure it's clean (which it IS, although you can't tell it from the pictures! :) and put the new down over the old.
All in all, a job VERY well done and VERY appreciated!

The old floor. Gross.

Up-close. Grosser.

My Neil with his pre-payment.
Hard at work, as you can tell.

Katie "helped", too.
The juxtaposition of new and old makes the old look worse, if possible.

Done! Isn't it purty?

The obligatory Neil-being-creepy pose.

I didn't sleep there that night, although I considered it.

10.2 - Things I am Thankful For

2009-02-14T10:07:00.002-05:00

Following up (a few days late, but I'll tell you why later) my "10 complaints"
I have been BUSY the past few days. While I was playing single mom, my friend Neil came over to hang out (on Tuesday night). He ended up staying with us past when Jon came home, and while he was here, we (meaning Neil...with a little help from Katie) laid new vinyl tile in the kitchen, cleaned the kitchen and living room, raked up about 15 trash-cans full of pine straw and pinecones from the backyard, and folded three enormously overflowing baskets of laundry. Sooo, topping off my list of ten things I'm thankful for is
1. NEIL! I am so thankful for good friends that "hold my arms up".
2. Productiveness. I tend to spiral downward in regards to depression and housekeeping together.
3. My church family.
4. My kids.
5. My husband.
6. My kids again, because they made me breakfast in bed this morning for Valentine's Day
7. My parents, who keep my kids all the time, enabling me to work.
8. Jon's parents, who don't get to see the kids as often as they'd like, but make every visit special.
9. My sisters.
10. My job.

I will post pictures later of our great kitchen "remodel"!

Movie Quote Mondays

2009-02-10T16:07:00.003-05:00

Thank you Melody for reminding me.

#1 "Well, I'm already pregnant, so really, what more shenanigans can I get into?"

Bonus: "At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?
Take a look at what I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I'm a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!"

Ten point one

2009-02-10T15:58:00.002-05:00

I was tagged by my friend Becka to do this blog section. First, I should say, "Today the part of Neil/Shelly will be played by Gretchen", because that's my favorite snarky way of saying "Yes, I know it's been a while since I updated my blog, but at least I do it more often than Neil and Shelly". Sadly, that is no longer true because they've both been blogging fools in the past week. So I can't even use that excuse.
So, yesterday, Becka did "10 Complaints I Have in my Life Right Now", which was followed by today's "10 Things I am Thankful For". She tagged me in today's, so I'm starting with complaints. Because, you know, they're easier. (Just kidding.) (Also, one of Becka's complaints is that her boys haven't yet mastered peeing in the toilet instead of on the floor. Thankfully, that is not one of my complaints.)

1. I am playing single mom this week while Jon goes up to NYC to "help a friend" hang out at McSorley's Irish Pub. This comes on the heels of playing single mom for the entire month of January while Jon worked nights (see last month's post on aluminum foil on why I hate night shifts).

2. My house is a wreck.

3. I have a lot of "chores" to do this week, and it's not the best time to have to play single mom.

4. My five year-old kid will not. stop. wetting. the. bed.

5. My 7-year-old kid will. not. learn. her. addition. facts.

6. Getting out of debt is HARD WORK. Boo-friggin'-hoo, I know. We are doing it. Slowly but surely, thank you David Ramsey.

7. Until we get out of debt we will never be able to own a home.

8....well, thankfully, that's the only things I can think of to complain about! Oh, wait...

8. I have to make dinner soon. I hate cooking these days.

More tomorrow.
But not complaints.

Dave Ramsey Class

2009-01-31T20:53:00.002-05:00

We just started a 13-week class at my church called Financial Peace University, by Dave Ramsey. It's been eye-opening, even in the first week. I can't wait to see how God is going to use this class to completely change us. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this later, but here's a lighthearted look at some "common sense" advice:

K.I.S.S.

2009-01-28T14:48:00.002-05:00

Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Things I've not done in the past week because there was something mysteriously wrong with my computer keyboard in that the spacebar randomly didn't work:

1. Update my blog (for MovieQuote Monday, to tell you all about my trip...I'll do both, I promise!)
2. Write my support letter for my Haiti trip
3. E-mail anyone with more than a 2-sentence thought.
4. Do any of the forty-gajillion "25 Random Things About Me" on Facebook that I've been tagged for

My first thought on "why this won't work" was "perhaps the keyboard is dusty". So Jon cleaned it out.
Second, "perhaps it needs new batteries". This was a less-than-satisfactory explanation, however, because I wasn't being given any warning message from the computer that the wireless keyboard's "batteries are in a critical state" (Digression: seriously? A critical state)
Anyway, for some reason, I latched onto this explanation for my faulty spacebar. I kept meaning to buy some batteries, because Jon told me we didn't have any AA batteries. (Note to self: Why didn't you just check?) Finally, today, I did check. And by "check", I don't mean dig through half-a-dozen random huge boxes, I mean "open drawer and look in giant Ziploc bag where I keep batteries neatly coralled together". Sure enough, Energizers aplenty. So I replaced the batteries. Hmmm, still not it.
I happened to look up from my seat at the computer and notice that the receiver (that gets the signal from the wireless keyboard and mouse) was just SLIGHTLY crooked. Oh, well, yeah, that's because it's NOT PLUGGED IN ALL THE WAY.
Sigh. I'm so useless sometimes.

Movie Quote Mondays

2009-01-12T21:44:00.001-05:00

"Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays!"

Bonus: "(gong sound) What's happening, hot stuff?"

Coming to get His bride

2009-01-11T19:05:00.002-05:00

This morning in church, at the end of the service, I had a word from God that I believe He instructed me to share. This doesn't happen that often to me, and when it does, I feel so nervous I think I'm going to throw up. Today's was so clear, so vivid, that I knew I had to obey.
The song we were planning to end the service was "So You Would Come". Part of the text says,

"Come to the Father/ though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives/ He will take them all
The power of the word, the power of His blood
Everything was done so you would come."

The message came to me full-blown and clear. Yesterday was Jenny's wedding. When she came into the church, she walked alone. Most women are walked down the aisle by their daddies, or maybe their moms or grandmas or brothers if their dad is not around. Jenny, as some of you may know, had a pretty un-traditional childhood, and didn't have a very strong Daddy figure to rely on. (This, by the way, is so foreign to me - thankfully - that it was hard to get my head around. I have the best Daddy in the world.) So, in any case, Jenny walked halfway down the aisle on her own, and then Josh (her new husband) met her and brought her the rest of the way to the altar.
So the message God gave me: Sometimes in our lives, their are people around us that are strong enough to carry us to the foot of the cross when we are broken. They'll ignore our mess, see our need for a Savior, and just bring us there. But sometimes, people don't have anyone like that. They are, in the truest sense of the word, alone. It's at times like this that Jesus comes to us and carries us to the foot of the cross. He walks down the aisle to where we are and carries His Bride home. There's nothing we can do to earn this blessing. There's nothing so bad that we've done that could make Him NOT pursue us. All we have to do is accept it with thanksgiving. (Pretty easy, huh?)
Anyway...I had to share. It was one of the most powerful words God's ever given me, and I'm thankful He used such a visual picture of the redemption He shows us. If you haven't read or studied the book of Hosea in the Old Testament, it's pretty incredible. Another recommended read, which is an allegorical novel of the book of Hosea is Redeeming Love.
Thanks for letting me share with you.

Happy anniversary to me! and other random thoughts.

2009-01-09T23:11:00.003-05:00

Random Thought #1. I TOTALLY ought to be in bed. Everyone else in my family is crashed out. I was up until 4 AM last night, sewing accessories for Jenny's wedding tomorrow.
Random Thought #2. Today is my TENTH wedding anniversary! One of my most treasured memories of my wedding day was my dad waking me up at about 7 AM (even though I had stayed up waaayyyy too late talking and giggling with my cousin Johanna) to show me a double rainbow in the just-clearing sky. It was so special, and such a great visual reminder of all the promises our Father makes and fulfills in our life.
Random Thought #3. My niece, Evie Grace, is about the cutest thing EVER. She's smart. Like, scary, RainMan kind of smart. (Just kidding! Kind of...) She's also a terrific mimic. For instance, a few days ago, she heard her mother exclaim, "Piece of crap!" I now ask her to say that at every available opportunity. It's truly hilarious and I hereby vow to capture it on video tomorrow at some point.
Random Thought #4. It's really, truly, honestly probably NOT a good idea for me and my two sisters to stand next to one another during solemn occasions. The wedding rehearsal today (while it ran smoothly, thanks largely to Mama Candy) was an example of these. We just could NOT hold it together. We probably behaved pretty badly, but I don't care. We won't do it during the actual ceremony. Probably.
Random Thought #5. Kids are just funny. Yesterday, my sister Gwenn was washing Abbie's hair after a practice run of her wedding up-do. Abbie was very well-behaved while all this was going on, and Gwenn said to her, "Abbie, I really appreciate your good behavior. You are SO obedient! Who taught you to be so obedient?" Abbie said, "I don't know...." Gwenn asked, "Well, was it your Mommy?" "No...." "Was it your Daddy?" "No...." "Well, who was it, then?"
Abbie replied, "I think it was God.....wasn't that nice of Him?"
Indeed. I was thinking a little more deeply about that, and realized how true it really is. It's like if I demanded/expected obedience from my kids, but did not teach them any tools to help them do so. I'd always be disappointed in them, and they'd always be frustrated with me because I would be asking them something they literally couldn't do. God expects obedience from us, sure. But He always gives us the tools we need to do it. (Whether we use them is up to us, much like it is with parents and kids.) But God has given us everything we need to do what He asks of us. His joy is ME! He loves to "rejoice over me with singing".
*sigh* God is so cool.
Good night, sleep tight. I'm taking my tired-but-not-sleepy-and-wishing-I-had-an-Ambien-or-something-stronger-than-Tylenol-PM self to bed.

How long would you wait?

2009-01-07T14:21:00.003-05:00

On hold? For something you really needed to find out? (I'm on hold with the unemployment office in Raleigh.)
When I was initially connected, I was warned, "Some customers may experience a wait of up to twenty minutes." OK, that would suck, but I really need to get this information.
It's now been at LEAST 45 minutes. I know they're still connected, because about every minute or so, I get the "All agents are still busy assisting other callers...please remain on the line and the next available agent will assist you" message.
But what if they're all out to lunch? Calling in gay? Having a contest to see who can keep their red light blinking longest?
GAH. I hate waiting. (Oooh, that's a bonus movie quote. But the clip is not the quote. But it's from the same movie.

Sleep talking (or, why night shifts are mildly amusing)

2009-01-05T12:47:00.002-05:00

Jon's work shift rotates monthly. For the month of January, he's on overnight shifts. (Overnight shifts make our family's life about 900% less pleasant than day shifts, but that's another post.) For the first few shifts on, it takes a LOT out of Jon to get acclimated. When he comes home at 6:30ish AM, he pretty much goes right to bed, stumbles out once or twice to grab a bite to eat, mutter hello, possibly yell at us for being too noisy, and then returns to bed. He gets up in time to shower and go back. After a few days, it evens out, but during those first few shifts, he's pretty much working, sleeping, or deliriously tired all the time.
Today was one of those days. He got home at 6:30, stayed up long enough to get Abbie up for preschool and give her breakfast, then went to bed. He asked me to please wake him up at 9:00 to call his sergeant and find out if he had a class this afternoon. (He's off tonight and tomorrow night and needed to make plans to help out a friend of ours.) I went in and woke him at 9:00, went in again at 9:15 and found his phone for him, went in again and reminded him at 9:30. The 9:30 conversation went a little like this:

Me: Honey, you need to call James. Do you still have your phone?
Jon: (rummaging around through the bedcovers) It's here somewhere.
Me: (handing him the phone) Here it is, it's right here.
Jon: (looking at the phone, using a tone that suggests I may possibly be mentally deficient) THAT is a PHONE. I'm looking for the OTHER thing.
Me: (confused) What other thing?
Jon: (still in that tone that sends me 0-60 on the anger scale in .4 seconds) The long, skinny tube thing.
Me: Honey, I think you're still sleeping.
Jon: I AM NOT SLEEPING. I AM LOOKING FOR THE TUBE OF ALUMINUM FOIL.
Me: (now trying not to laugh) Why would you have aluminum foil in our bed?
Jon: It's the THING! That is the PHONE! The TUBE, for making contact....just get out. Stop it.
Me: Honey, I'm just trying to help you; do you need your phone? (Keep in mind that he is eyes-wide-open looking at me, insisting he is awake this whole time.)
Jon: Just get out. I know you're trying not to laugh. Just leave.
Me: OK. Do you want me to call James for you?
Jon: You can't get him without the tube.
Me: ooooook.

I left, still a bit annoyed that he was talking so mean. But mostly laughing because it was a funny exchange. I DID call James, got the information he needed, then went back in a few minutes later. I gently woke him up and said, "Sweetie, I talked to James; your class is cancelled for this afternoon. Do you want me to call Neil and find out what time you guys need to go?" He said no, called Neil and made the arrangements, then, just before he rolled over and went back to sleep, said, "Do you need anything else from me?"
I said, "Well, can we talk about the tube of aluminum foil?"
He thought about it for about 2 seconds, then started laughing, covered his head, and said, "No. No, we cannot."

I left him alone after that. I'm still giggling out loud thinking about it, though.

I am a superhero! I always knew it!

2009-01-05T12:31:00.001-05:00

For Christmas this year, I bought all my nieces and nephews playsilks from The ColorFarm. I love playsilks; they're great imagination playthings. My kids use them for capes, dresses, forts, "shepherd hats", and (my own personal favorite), invisibility cloaks. So anyway, I bought them for Nia, Nico, Josiah and Evie as well. Gwenn called me the other day and related this story:
Her kids were playing with their silks and wanted to play "superhero". So they were wearing them as capes when Gwenn realizes that her kids do not actually know any superheroes (at least not "traditional" ones, i.e, Batman, Supergirl), because she overhears Nia say, "I am going to be Superhero Auntie Gretchen. You (to Nico) are Superhero Uncle Jon. And Josiah can be Superhero Micah."
Gosh. I think my family is the cast of the Incredibles!

Movie Quote Monday.

2009-01-05T12:29:00.002-05:00

"All homosexual men have track lighting. And all homosexual men are named Mark, Rick, or Steve."

Bonus quote: "Is this a habit of yours? Falling off of things?" "Well, usually, there's someone there to catch me."

"Mom, I can't watch this part."

2009-01-03T20:21:00.004-05:00

"It's too scary. I think I'll have night-mirrors."
So says Abbie. I asked her no less than three times, just so she'd repeat it because it's so darn cute.
"You'll what?"
"I'll have night-mirrors."
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you...what?"
"I'll have NIGHT-MIRRORS!"
(me laughing almost aloud) "You'll have WHAT?"
"NIIIIGHT-MIIIIRORS!"
"Oh. Did you finish your pizza?"
"Not yet."
"Do you think Strom is in there eating it?"
"AAAAAAHHHHH! STROM! GET AWAY FROM MY CRUSTES!"
(That's pronounced "crust-is", for those of you not in the know.)

My son is a mess

2009-01-03T15:48:00.000-05:00

Micah has been testing the limits, as it were, lately. My best example of this is New Year's Eve. He was sitting (wiggling, actually) on my lap while we (the grownups) were playing Catchphrase. (That's a link to the second edition if anyone wants to buy me a "prize". Mom.) I was tickling him along the edge of the back of his sweatpants (teasing him that I was going to get his butt). He said, "MOOOOM! STOOOOOP!" I reached for him one more time, and he swiveled around and pinched me.
On the nipple.
It was hard to know if I should laugh (which I did), yell at him (which I kinda did, except I was laughing too hard), or let it go (which I ultimately did, after admonishing him that "That's not always going to be funny.")

A new leaf.

2009-01-01T17:26:00.002-05:00

New Year's resolutions...I definitely have a love-hate relationship with that concept. I love to make them, and almost never keep them. I think it's because I feel like if I'm making a "resolution" it needs to be BIG. And then the first time I backslide, I don't just fall off the wagon, I jump off it with both feet and go screaming in the opposite direction.
However. I am starting 2009 weighing more than I EVER have. In my life. Including during all three pregnancies. So, something's gotta give. I am Biggest Loser material, and I'm setting a terrible example for my children.
I'd like to say I'm going to stop biting my nails and become more organized as well, but I don't think I can set myself up for that kind of failure, know what I mean? I'm going to TRY to do those things, but I AM going to lose this weight. I have to.

Almost forgot....It's Movie Quote Monday!

2008-12-29T20:10:00.003-05:00

"It's a race, it's a race! I hope I win."

Bonus quote: "We need to get her to a hospital right away." "A hospital? What is it?" "It's a big building with a lot of patients, but that's not important right now."

A Christmas Card from My Kids

2008-12-29T16:01:00.003-05:00

This project deserves its own post; Nanny and the kids worked VERY hard on it! It was easily my favorite (material) Christmas gift.

A very crafty Christmas

2008-12-29T11:05:00.002-05:00

This year, due largely in part to The Advent Conspiracy, we "conspired" to make as much as was feasible to give as gifts. I crocheted a shawl/wrap for Jon's mother, and though it wasn't perfect, I enjoyed making it and she liked it. Jon made a dartboard cabinet for his dad, complete with chalkboard-painted interior. I made "treasure boxes" for all my nieces and nephews, with wooden cigar boxes I got at a thrift store and decoupage. I glittered up an old flower-girl dress for Abbie to be a princess (and she's hardly taken it off since Christmas day!). I made matching dresses (my first BIG sewing project!) for Katie and her doll, Jolena. Jon made a rubber-band gun (actually, three of them) for Micah. He's had it in his hand pretty much ever since.
We go pretty easy on gifts for Christmas, anyway. We try to adhere to "something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read" for the kids. It is VERY hard for me not to buy everything in sight for them. It's really hard for me not to buy in the commercialism crap of the season. But, I do have to say that this Christmas was, by far, the least stressful and most meaningful that I can remember. I spent a lot of time baking and giving baking away. I spent time doing projects with my kids for other people. We kept secrets and did a little shopping. We chose gifts with far more care than I can ever remember. Because the stress of "getting everyone the PERFECT gift" was removed. The "perfect gift" has already been given, people! His name is Jesus and He is altogether lovely. The stuff we give each other is just that...stuff. It's fun to give gifts. I love that this year, at the ripe old age of 33, I'm finally starting to "get" Christmas. (I'm a slow learner, apparently. My kids seem to already know this.) My favorite part of Christmas this year was the hour or so we spent at the nursing home, singing Christmas songs and Jesus Loves Me and the Battle Hymn of the Republic with the Alzheimer's patients. It was truly a blessing beyond every material gift I got or gave this year to see my kids and my parents and my husband giving of themselves to love other people.
(I think the residents liked it, too!)
Merry (late) Christmas and happy new year!

A baby changes everything

2008-12-23T12:12:00.002-05:00

This song was sung at my sister's church Christmas Eve service last night. It moved me so much that I had to a) share it with you - although 3/7 of my blog readers were there last night and b) prepare it for my own Christmas Eve service. Tomorrow night. I had something else picked out and practiced, but this one speaks to me much more deeply. So, pray for me, and my kids, because this is pretty much all they'll hear today.

Movie Quote Monday

2008-12-22T13:15:00.002-05:00

"My name is Hossle and I can count to potato!"

Bonus quote: "Yes, no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, yes! no, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, no...Wait a minute...YES!!!!"

Funny things my kids say

2008-12-17T21:30:00.002-05:00

I'm not going to make this a "blog feature", because that would be lame. However, if I were to make it a blog feature, I could have something to write about every day. My kids are pretty much the funniest people I know.
Tonight, we were walking through Belk when Katie said something to Micah (I actually don't know what it was, because I didn't hear, but it was probably bossy, because that's how she rolls). Micah replied, very matter-of-factly, "Well, Katie, I was minding my own business, like you should be."
Then, when I was tucking the girls in and saying prayers, I was laying down with Abbie. We were being silly and I said, "OK, so I'll see you....next week? Next year?" Abbie said, "NO, Mom, I'll see you in the MORNING!" I said, "Well, I'll see you before that because I'll see you in my dreams." Abbie said, "Yeah, and you know what I'm going to say to Micah when I see him in my dreams?" I said, "No, what?" (thinking she's going to tell him that she loves him or whatever). She said, in a very sweet, almost-singing voice, "Micah!! I had that first!"

Movie Quote Monday...on Tuesday

2008-12-16T08:20:00.002-05:00

Got missed in the whole drama yesterday of the spilled coffee. The rest of my day was taken up with a TWO HOUR eye-doctor appointment (everything's fine; just takes a long time with little kids. Side note: Micah will look so stinkin' cute in glasses.) and making twenty-seven dozen cookies. (Not exaggerating.) And 6 dozen rum balls, which I had to put in the freezer lest I eat them ALL.
So...movie quotes:

"It's a beautiful duck!....but...it's smiling!"

Bonus quote: Your MOM goes to college!

My public-service announcement for the day. Have a messy, cluttered, desk? Don't know where to start?

2008-12-15T08:44:00.001-05:00

There's GOT to be a better way, right? The shuffling and sorting...the shredding and discarding...the saving and filing....it's all just SO HARD!
My new method is super easy, takes just microseconds, and is guaranteed to rip an obscenity from your lips in front of your young, impressionable children who will most likely repeat it in a. Sunday school b. a homeschool gathering c. carpool.
The secret? Just tip a lava-hot cup of black coffee over the whole shebang! You've never cleared a desk so fast. Ever!

Oh, dear God, let this day get better.

Seeing the beauty

2008-12-10T21:41:00.002-05:00

A post about beauty...should NOT begin with a discussion of unibrows. (LOLcats says..."Unabrowz....I haz them".) Facial hair is an ongoing battle of grossness. (One that, thankfully, modern technology has made far easier. Also, at least I'm a girl. My nephew Josiah is SUNK. He's gonna need "manscaping" for REAL.)

Earlier this week, my girls and I went to Raleigh to see my sister and her family. On the first night we stayed there, Kate had a terrible cough that didn't seem to bother her (I mean, she slept through it), but I didn't want her to wake her sister or her cousins, so I went and got her out of the kids' room and put her on the other couch in the living room. I gave her another dose of cough medicine and a sip of water. She hardly woke through the whole thing. I was kneeling next to her, making sure she stayed asleep before I went to lay on the other couch. As I was looking at her, I thought to myself "Good grief, that kid's got some BROWS! She's going to need to slap a wax strip on there by the time she's nine! And wow...her "big teeth" are growing in a little goofy." Don't get me wrong, I think my child is beautiful, but the FIRST things I was thinking of were things that weren't.
In my heart, at they very moment, God spoke to me. I've heard Him before, but this was so clear it was unmistakable. He said, "Why aren't you seeing her beauty before her flaws? That's how I see YOU."
Whew. Praise be to the God who sees our beauty first. Awesome.

MovieQuote Monday

2008-12-08T17:49:00.002-05:00

Quote: "I mean, these were my best friends! And they were gin boxes!"

Bonus quote: "Who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa...or is it Spanky?"

Thursday YouTube Crack

2008-12-04T20:22:00.001-05:00

Courtesy of Saturday Night Live!

Funny picture

2008-12-02T18:32:00.002-05:00

Kids can be pretty creative artists (and writers...more on that later). I found this picture today and thought some of you might appreciate it:

see more pwn and owned pictures

New regular feature - Movie Quote Mondays

2008-12-01T16:21:00.002-05:00

The other day, I found myself remembering a movie quote but not remembering where it came from (I was at work). It bugged me so much that I had to call Jon. It bugged HIM so much that he had to Google it.
So every Monday, I'm going to post a quote from a movie. The first person to comment on its origin wins. (Wins what? you might ask. The answer is: fame - among the fives of people that read my blog - and my undying respect.) If you'd like to submit a quote, e-mail me at gbender714@yahoo.com

Today's quote: "I thought I had mono once for an entire year. It turns out I was just really bored."

Bonus quote: "Do you want me to send you back where you came from...unemployed in GREENLAND?"

And it starts.

2008-11-26T08:09:00.003-05:00

This is reposted with permission from my friend Becka's blog Toasty Toes.

The count down for Christmas. Except this year I won't be party to it. I don't really care how many days there are until Christmas.

Last week I cared. But this week I don't care.

This week I am already ready for Christmas.

You see, at first I thought, "This year I will make everyone's gifts." I hoarded links, and how-to's, and tutorials. I made a mental post it note list of everyone who "needed" gifts, and what I could give them.

A Christmas checklist. Like every other year. Like every other family.

And then I had a better idea. Why spend all this time frantically trying to make gifts that will never get completed? Just like every other year, I would be forced to run to the store- buying high priced, over priced crap for everyone. Why? For what reason? Did everyone really enjoy last years dollar store lotion?

So, my new idea was just to buy the stuff now. I would shop ahead, and therefore put thought into each gift. I would think about the person, and buy gifts that they would really like. It was a good idea, right?

But, then I had a better idea, helped out by a certain video I saw on youtube.

Why not buy nothing at all? Seriously? I don't even remember what my husband got me last year, much less his Aunt so and so. The gifts I so carefully picked out for my children now sit neglected on a shelf. What is the purpose of all this gift frenzy, the money spending, the debt building, the guilt induced fear of not adding up to everyone else's generosity?

So. I am opting out. No one is getting store bought gifts from me. No one is getting handmade gifts for me. Not my mother, not my pastor, not my son's Sunday School teacher... Not my children.

And I can hear a worldwide gasp. "What about the magic and awe of Christmas for the children?"

My response, " Under Control." My children will not open a single battery operated, plastic, hair growing, gun toting, miniature sized anything.

Nothing they open will have a price tag, a return receipt, or those nasty little screws that drive parents nuts every Christmas day.

They won't make a list, and if they do, I doubt their list will coincide with what they receive.

Because Esther is NOT getting a white horse with a horn out its head.
And Weston is NOT getting the entire Star Wars Lego set. No matter how much he begs for it.
And Marcus- actually, I don't have a clue what he wants. But it probably is long and shoots bullets which he most definitely WILL NOT GET.

As I travel to Ohio to spend Christmas with my parents and siblings. With my sister-in-law Carrie, and with my brother-in-law Jesse. With my little nieces- and my mischievous nephew, I will load my van with gifts wrapped in festive paper and tied with ribbon. Just like every other year. But this year, the gifts that I add to the tree will be far different than any other year.

My Christmas revelation has not turned me into the grinch. It has, rather made me a bit more Claus like. And far more Christ like.

Throughout the day, we will unwrap these gifts. The fist one will be a rectangular one. Under the paper and ribbons, our family will find my father's old black Bible, and he will open it and read the Christmas story. I will hold Esther on my lap and Marcus and Weston will be snuggled under my arm, and together we will have anew, the awe of that very first Christmas.
The Christmas story will remind us what Christmas giving is all about.

And in that spirit, the children will grab another package. Inside the gift bag filled with confetti will be a bag of chocolate chips. Together we will make chocolate chip cookies. And Marmie will have to swat at the children's hands when they try to eat all the cookie dough.

Maybe later, they will unwrap a movie. Not a new one from the store, but an old one. A favorite. Probably Star Wars because I am the only one who hates Star Wars. And we will pop corn the old fashioned way and have a family movie time.

I will have wrapped our well worn games; the ones that we already know the rules to, and the ones that everyone loves. When they are unwrapped we will play them. Grandma too. We will even make her play Bang. If I have to watch Star Wars, she can be forced to sit through a rousing shoot em up game of Bang.

I will wrap up a pair of socks for each kid, because we will need to keep our toes warm for our Christmas day walk, and maybe someone will stay home to make us hot cocoa for re-warming our frozen noses.

This is not a new idea. It's one I learned a long time ago, but the video reminded me of it.

On Christmas day, God gave me His heart. And I plan to celebrate that gift by giving mine.

Want to join me?

As this post gets read by more people and passed around, please comment and add your ideas of what could be wrapped and placed under the tree. Together, we can make this the second best Christmas this universe has ever seen.

Thanksgiving Traditions

2008-11-24T20:22:00.002-05:00

I love Thanksgiving. It is, hands-down, my favorite holiday. I love everything about it. This year, I am blessed to be hosting the "event". I am further blessed to have my parents, Jon's parents and sister, and two families of dear friends joining us for dinner. (We will be 12 adults and 7 kids, ages 3-13!)
My family has always been VERY big on traditions. Some of them have been more enduring than others, but one that has ALWAYS been present at every Thanksgiving I can remember is the corn kernel tradition. My mom said she read about it in a Little House on the Prairie book when I was little. When we set the table, we put three kernels of corn next to each plate. At dinnertime, we go around the table and say three things we are thankful for.
My mom also has a tradition of early table-setting (sometimes 2 days before!). I will be able to continue that this year, as my friend Candy has offered her time (and her teenagers' babysitting time!) to come help me make my table beautiful. Those of you that know Candy know how awesome it will look! My mom dresses a gorgeous table, also. We were having a conversation recently about how much she loves it. It then turned to a conversation about how prepared she liked to be for things, as opposed to how a person we know flies by the seat of his pants. She said, "You know me, I'm the person who puts slips of paper in the serving dishes for Thanksgiving to designate which dish goes where. Mr. X is the kind of person that goes, 'Oh, hey, it's Thanksgiving! Let's go to Food Lion to see if I can find a turkey!'"
So tell me, what are you thankful for?

Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate.

2008-11-21T12:43:00.002-05:00

Holy crap. This stuff is so good it's ridiculous. I ganked the recipe from a woman on a message board I frequent, who set out to duplicate the Starbucks recipe. It. is. so. delicious.
I should have taken pictures as I did it, but my camera is in the car and it's snowing (!) here, so I didn't. Sowwweee.

1. Pour boiling water into your mug to heat it, let sit while you do the rest.
2. Heat on stove (although I supposed you could do it in the microwave) 1 1/2 cups of milk, with 2 oz. of dark chocolate. Stir often, and whisk melted chocolate through milk. DON'T boil.
3. Meanwhile, whip some heavy cream with a pinch of kosher salt, about 2 tbsp. of superfine or confectioner's sugar and a dribble of vanilla.
4. When chocolate milk is hot, dump water out of mug. Spread about 1 tbsp. of caramel sauce around the inside of the mug. (If you want, now is the time to dump in a shot or so of butterscotch schnapps. Just sayin'. :) )
5. Pour hot chocolate into mug, sprinkle with a pinch of salt.
6. Drop a glob of the whipped cream on top, and another teeny pinch of salt. Drizzle w/ caramel.

So yummy!!

Sigh. I keep MEANING to do better.

2008-11-20T23:59:00.001-05:00

I promise, this blog will not just trickle off to be solely comprised of my Thursday YouTube posts. I will do better this week!
But this one rocks. This video has gotten so much play at my place of employment that all the employees know the fractured Engrish lyrics by heart.

To all my fives of readers: Ken Lee. Tulibu dibu douchoo.

The previous entry was very misleading

2008-11-16T22:02:00.002-05:00

Because I entitled it "My ElfYourself", you might be inclined to think that I've only created one. You'd be so very wrong. I've lost count. That's just my favorite one. Another incarnation included Strom and Max, my two dogs, along with Ace, my expired dog. Another one was...well, never mind. I have my mother to blame for the fact that I'm an ElfYourself geek. She's made at least a dozen so far, too.
Ah, good times, good times.

My ElfYourself

2008-11-16T22:00:00.002-05:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Thursday YouTube Two-fer

2008-11-13T19:51:00.001-05:00

OK, again from "Enchanted" (I big puffy heart this movie). But I love that someone has turned it into a grungy girl-band song, too.

Sharing my "ear-worm" with you.

2008-11-11T22:39:00.002-05:00

This song has been stuck in my head for two days. I love this movie and it's a very clever song, but FOR PETE'S SAKE (I mean, "Repeat's sake", Gwenn.)! Make it stop already! (Although, as a side note, I find it extremely cute that Abbie likes to cup her hand to her mouth and sing, "Ahhh, ahhh, ahhhhh" like Giselle calling the animals. It's like her secret signal to call her siblings.)

Veterans' Day: I am THANKFUL!

2008-11-11T10:38:00.002-05:00

I believe that our country (as a group of people, not necessarily as a governing body) doesn't do enough to be grateful for our veterans and active-duty military. I know I don't. So I just want to take this opportunity to say THANK YOU to my father-in-law, to my uncles, to our Papa Jim, to all who've served for us. We are truly grateful for you and we hope to show it better. We love you!

The Domestic Un-goddess

That little punk!

My smiley baby

"If You Want Me To"...and other thoughts on worship

Less than 72 hours to go...

How to pick things up off the floor, 9-months-pregnant version

Really neat article about my Grandpa Joe

Twenty-three days...

My super-creative kid

Why my nephew Nico is my favorite

Another example of why I love YouTube

Great article about what Gwenn is doing in Haiti

My awesome friends

Josiah is just a mess

Well, I always knew I was one

A bad news/good news post

My drama queen child...part one million five

Breaking my blog silence for a kid funny

Scones...a pregnancy craving adventure in cooking

A healthy baby...good report!

Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read....

Just in case you missed my Facebook status update...

It's a girl!

A plug for a favorite product, and a self-indulgent prayer request

Happy birthday to my awesome Mommy!

My "day in the life"

I suck at blogging, part fifty-million.

The 10-minute challenge

The great clothing explosion

Another kid funny...because my son is hilarious.

Breaking my silence...

If your dryer is ever broken.....

An auntie again!

OK, so the smell thing

What's the WORST smell you can think of?

A photo shoot

My smarty kids....

Non-cuss words and "Mother of the Year"

Funny things my kids say, part 538

Something else my son can do (as of this week)

A great article about homeschooling and socialization (I HATE that word!)

*drum roll please*

Check back later...

A new 'do!

Our last day in Jacmel

I am HERE!

A story about why I should take the time to put tags on my blogs.

Happy birthday to my Gwennie!

A "hedge of protection"

Helloo....is this thing on?

I'm stealing this from Gwenn's blog...

My sisters

Yo mama.

"Nature abhors a vacuum"

Idiom Definitions for 'Nature abhors a vacuum'

This. is. AWESOME!

I screwed up.

Invisible Mothers

Abbie turned FOUR! (I should have posted this yesterday)

Katie's blog

Knock, knock.

This is the part of the show where Gretchen says, "Pot? This is kettle. You're black."

Dictionary.com....or, "Bible study FAIL"

im⋅mo⋅late

em⋅u⋅late

JULY 11!!!

The great kitchen re-model!

10.2 - Things I am Thankful For

Movie Quote Mondays

Ten point one

Dave Ramsey Class

K.I.S.S.

Movie Quote Mondays

Coming to get His bride

Happy anniversary to me! and other random thoughts.

How long would you wait?

Sleep talking (or, why night shifts are mildly amusing)

I am a superhero! I always knew it!

Movie Quote Monday.

"Mom, I can't watch this part."

drum roll please